Tuesday, January 31, 2006

George Miller is one lucky s.o.b.!

NBC's Mike Viqueira reports on Rep. George Miller, who must be the luckiest congressional Democrat in D.C.

When the national leadership all gets together for these shindigs, a member of each branch of government is hustled to Dick Cheney's bunker in case God decides he's had enough and smites the gathering with... locusts or frogs or nucular annihilation, or whatever pestilence God uses to make the point. (Yes I know how to pronounce and spell nuclear! Ironic that the man who controls the arsenal will not even pronounce it correctly, no?)

The Democratic congressional representative for tonight's travesty is Rep. George Miller. Now I know most of those who choose to check out this blog probably agree he gets off easy on this one... but there are several factors to consider here.

George will be held in the Cheney dungeon, where he will be strapped to a chair with a ball gag, metallic picks holding his eyelids open as nurses wet his unblinking eyes. The SOTU will be played on a movie screen size t.v. as 37,000 volt subwoof magnetic resonance harmonic flapdoodle speakers pound his senses. When congress interrupts the president with applause rather than watching the camera pan to various politicians George will see rapid fire images of Saddam being checked for lice, the twin towers in flames, the Abu Graib human pyramid, floating bodies in New Orleans... you know, all the hallmarks of this administration. After the speech George will be strapped to a board with his feet slightly elevated over his head, have plastic wrap placed over his mouth to be doused with water whilst the democratic response is given.

But you know what? Given the choice here, Rep. George Miller is luckier than the rest of the Dems who have to show up for the SOTU!

Sort of makes you wonder. What would it be like if the president showed up to give a state of the union address and half the chamber was empty?

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