Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Carbon dating scandal...

The Republican talking points manual for deflecting questions on all the scandal and corruption in their midst calls for them to incessantly mention old democratic scandals. I mean old... as in 1st time voters were not even born when these scandals happened. If you have listened to any wingnuttery of late you've heard the familiar refrain: Gary Studds boffed a page, Rep. Shays in Connecticut tearing into Chappaquidick when Kennedy comes to town, and I'm fully expecting Willy Horton to make a comeback.

Fine! If Republicans want to throw mud at the wall by dredging up old dem scandals, we can play the same freaking game. I'm sick of my parties ancient foibleists (hah! new word) being used to swiftboat us right now... it's time to respond in kind!

Who can ever forget the infamous William W. Belknap (R. criminal). Impeached in 1876 by a unanimous vote in the House of Representatives (back when they did this thing called oversight) for taking money for trading post assignments! SHAME on you Republicans... shame.

Then there is the awful example set by Oakes Ames (R. slumlord) who in 1867 when appointed head of Crédit Mobilier of America, (they might be of America, but they sound of France which should have been a big clue, with all due respect to my French friends) a company created to protect investors on the trans continental railroad from incurring losses to their investments, allowed Congressmembers who had voted on funding to cover charges incurred by CMA at face value rather than true market.... Well to be honest the details on this one are a bit dry. Suffice to say that it doesn't look to good for the R's on this one either!!

Lets bring this to a more contemporary level shall we. Edwin C. Denby (R. villain), 1922, Teapot Dome. I just KNOW what your thinking right now. "Oh snap... no he did'n... he did NOT just go teapot dome on the Repugs". Lets just let that sink in a bit and then proceed to the next one shall we?

I suppose this early in the game, going straight for the monolith of immorality that was Richard Nixon (R. crook) would be too simple. It turns out however that he was into pretending laws didn't apply to him very early in his political career. Consider the Checkers Speech in which Nixon tried to convince America that the $18K of illegal campaign contributions he was busted with was really money gained from the sale of a mink coat and a dog... or something just as silly. He couldn't do it with a straight face but lucky for him most of the nation was tuned into the speech via radio.

I think the point I'm trying to make here is that going back in history to bring up old stuff on the other guy probably comes across as a bit of a desperate ploy. With that in mind we also should consider Jack Abramoff, Duke Cunningham, Tom Delay, Bob Ney and the rest of the Ohio Republican party, Bernard Kerik, Bill Frist, Trent Lott, Newt Gingrich and nearly every Republican leader responsible for the impeachment of Bill Clinton, most due to their own sexual immorality, Ralph Reed... I mean do I need to go on? I'm not one tenth of the way through the list of contemporary Republican scandalocracy.

Oooh, another new word! Lets use it...

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