Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Republicans Should Invoke The Sex Scandal Mercy Rule

This weeks Sexual Degenerate Republican Leader Scandal is brought to us by the national leader of the Young Republican National Federation. This is the same group that brought the nation the SDRLS a couple of weeks ago, when the Michigan chair of the group plead guilty to raping a college student he lured to his room. In an especially Republican take on the issue in this particular case, after the victim reported the rape to police the rapist and his followers in the Republican organization publicized the victims name and started a smear campaign against her.

This weeks Republican perv is Glenn Murphy, who was elected the national leader of the Young Republican National Federation only last month. Murphy is charged with... forcing fellatio upon a male acquaintance who was passed out on the floor. When the victim awoke in what must have been one of the most awkward moments imaginable to humankind, his red blooded hetero sense of loathing led him to file charges against his Republican benefactor/antagonist.

Oddly enough, Murphy was accused of precisely the same charge involving another sleeping male victim in 1998!

Just to heap on the embarrassment, Murphy sent an email around which explained his resignation from the Young Republican National Federation as the culmination of a business deal which conflicted with his new found political position. The letter even goes into great detail about Murphy sitting down with his family over the weekend and reaching a heart wrenching decision in a tough choice between the leadership of the Young Republican National Federation (I honestly cant fit that title into this post too many times) or a great business opportunity. So Murphy actually invokes family values in describing how he came to resign his position at the Young Republican National Federation. How freaking typical!

How many perverts in Republican leadership positions have come to light in the last several weeks? Is there even one Democrat who's been caught with his pants around his ankles, or his mouth around inappropriate objects in the last year or two? Just which party is it that stands for family values again?

In many amateur and high schools sports leagues if one side is getting trounced by a big enough score, the game is called on the mercy rule. Right now, by my rough estimate... the Democrats are beating the Republicans by about 10 to 0. Just to quickly run those down: Republicans 10, Murphy as described above, 9, State Representative and Florida McCain campaign co chair Bob Allen for offering to pay to perform fellatio on an undercover cop in a public restroom, 8: Michigan chair of the Young Republican National Federation Michael Flory for pleading guilty to raping a college student, 7, Senator David Vitter for hiring prostitutes, 6, Matt Sanchez for being a gay porn star prior to finding a niche amongst conservative koolaid drinkers as aggrieved college Marine, 5, Ted Klaudt of South Dakota for pedophilia with his own foster kids, 4, this ones a bit outdated, but Jeff Gannon, right wing mouthpiece and soft ball lobber at White House press conferences being a gay escort is one of my personal favorites, 3, Ted Haggard for not walking the talk he preached, 2: Mark Foley, enough said, and 1: Most of the GOP Presidential field with the notable exception of Mitt Romney for marrying mistresses after divorcing wife number one, and in some cases wife two as well.

If you google Republican sex scandal you can find many many topical sites, with links to news stories on minor and major league Republican players around the nation accused of some of the most vile practices imaginable. Google Democrat sex scandal and you inevitably find site after site dedicated to 20 year old scandals with Gary Studs, Barney Frank and... oh yeah... BILL CLINTON!!

The recent and pertinent record is clear. It is too bad the Republicans can not invoke the mercy rule and just have the game declared over so they can try to put this behind them. I know that putting it behind them may be taken for an unfortunate pun, but oh well.

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