Monday, August 27, 2007

Republican Politicians Are RUINING Public Bathrooms

Gonzo leaving is the big news of the day, so this must have seemed like a good time for the office of Senator Larry Craig (Reprobate, Id.) to release some bad news. Senator Craig, who is a noted "conservative" backer of George Bush and the "pro family" Republican agenda was busted in June for lewd conduct in a public restroom at a Minnesota airport. A spokesperson for the Senator said "this is a he said he said situation". His wife must have been devastated when Senator Craig plead guilty to the charges.

With this news coming on the heels of McCain's Florida campaign manager being arrested for lewd conduct in a public restroom, I have had an epiphany. The Republicans, being against big government spending, have decided to smear the already troubled public perception of these restrooms with the hopes of ending all funding for public commodes. How fiendishly clever of them!

I could use this post to defend the need and justify the expense for public restrooms. But rather, let me appeal to the scheming Republicans who are on this dastardly drive to give public restrooms an even worse public perception, to please cease and desist from this atrocious behavior. It is bad enough when some parent has to stand in line with their little child doing the cross legged "I really have to go" dance, anticipating the urine splattered, germ infested, feces smelling horror to come... but to have that parent then have to shield their child from the local "drown government in a bathtub" Republican who is trying to ruin public restrooms for the rest of us by acting like a degenerate perv is really beyond the pale!

The answer may be to install card readers for voter registrations to identify the partisanship of the potential user at the entrances to our public restrooms. If the card reader identifies a Republican politician about to enter the premises that person would have to be accompanied by a police officer to make sure that nothing untoward happens. Or maybe we could have separate but equal public restrooms segregated by party affiliation. Something must be done to save our public restrooms!

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